My name is Alan.
I have a Moustache.
For Donations: Movember
Posted by anonymous.
on saturday night you gave me a kiss on the cheek. now im pregnant.
i will name her naTASHa
Posted from Richard:
I too have felt the Moustache power of the last month. its incredible just like The Tick. Moustache feeling!!!
It has increased my weights at the gym giving me superhuman strength. My biceps are huge, curls gets the girls and I owe it all to the moustache. GO THE MO!!!
Thanks for the good month babes. Now it’s time to clean yourselves up.
Mo-Diary, Day 30
I woke up this morning to a sea of babes camping outside my front door. When I opened it, it looked like Woodstock ‘69 and my moustache was Jimi Hendrix. The girls started screaming, running, coming from every direction towards me; trying to get one last chance to touch in one way or another, my world changing ‘tache. The chicks down the back were crying because they “may” have to wait another year before the mo makes another appearance. Others are cheering because they just saw the Mo-ly grail. But most are lining up to get one more Moustache Ride. Fuck yeah chicks!
Mo-Diary, Day 29
Tomorrow is the last day of Movember, but there are whispers that the Mo could stick around.
What do you reckon babes?
Mo-Diary, Day 28
On the weekend I went to a wedding. Luckily for all of the babes out there, it wasn’t for me; it was for a mate of mine. At the end of the night I caught the Garter (which means I’m next to be married). Every babe in the reception saw this opportunity to lock my Mo down, so when the bouquet was thrown up in the air, it got as chaotic as the London Riots. Somehow, all of the hot chicks got a firm grip on the bouquet and they all ended up with a petal. This caused even more of an outrage. To settle all of the babes down I told them that we could move to Africa as it’s one of the only places in which polygamy is legal. Silly chicks, I would never move to Africa. Lions are well known for eating ‘taches clean off a males face while they are still alive.
Mo Diary, Day 25
Today is Friday. Most guys are excited about Friday because they can hit the pubs for some Friday afternoon drinks and hopefully get to awkwardly touch a girl’s wrist at some stage. Most of these guys don’t have a moustache. Our Fridays include answering texts from chicks that are keen to catch up for a boozey lunch, for afternoon drinks, for a nighttime chat, for a flirty sleep over. Fridays are hard work. We have to work out our priorities and let me tell you now, if you’re a babe who likes pillow talk while other babes line up outside, then you’re not a priority.
Mo Diary, Day 23
Today I realised that a lot of babes confused my moustache with self confidence. I also realised that a lot of guys confuse my moustache with arrogance. Also, some chicks confused my moustache for their wedding ring. Don’t hate me; it’s not my fault if their husbands lip is as bald as the money they give me to stay away from their wives.
Today I hung out with an Aussie Mo legend - Rod Young. Here is a pic of us just chilling with some babes in a sauna. It got really hot in there, but that’s alright. My ‘tache was soaking up so much sweat that I was able to bottle it and sell it to all of the babes who were waiting outside for us. I called it “Alan’s Moustache drink for Babes and Chicks”. Let me know if you want also want some “Alan’s Moustache drink for Babes and Chicks”.
Mo-Diary, Day 21.
Today I met a girl who told me that my ’tacheo was ugly. Luckily for me, I have already come across babes like this before and knew exactly what to do (which was nothing). I just sat still, staring at her and just let my Mo take over. After 30 seconds I could tell that the pheremo-nes had already emitted its secret scent and I had already taken control of the babe. “I’m sorry, I just blacked out” she said.
“That’s alright babe, just buy me a god damn chicken parmigiana”. I then went on to eat an awesome chicken parmigiana.
Mo-Diary, Day 20.
A big thank you to everyone for reminding me of the 18th of November being “Have Sex With a Guy With a Mustache Day”. It was a great day, and we all had heaps of fun. An even bigger thank you to all of the babes who don’t feel constrained to just one day. And an even bigger thank you to my ‘tache for absolutely killing it and ensuring no one was left out.
Mo Diary, Day 16.
Today a girl kissed me. She had blonde hair, blue eyes and smelt like roses that were handpicked from the angel Gabrielle herself. A lot of guys consider her to the perfect girl. After we touched lips she asked if there was a chance we could kiss forever. What an idiot. Of course we can’t. I then went on to explain how the human body can only survive for 3 days without water and how it would be impossible. Luckily the next babe who came past bought me a drink, because the so called “perfect” girl’s stupid comments made me thirsty. Today I realized that the only perfect thing in the world is my ‘tache.
